My intense writing sample

Heeey! So, y'know how I told you that i was thinking about adding a little something to my writing sample that I wasn't going to reveal yet? Well, tralalalalaaa! I have decided that my character is going to get dehydrated and have a sun stroke while walking the Abel Tasman! Yeah...... here is what happens when she passes out...

Time passed as the day became longer and hotter. The muddy, footprint covered track became dusty,dry and sandy. Gorse bushes replaced the exotic, native trees and bushes. It became less shady. The sun was hot on their faces. 
They continued to walk. Sipping from their drink bottles while they walked, they passed a vast number of gorse bushes and dry trees. The Abel Tasman was becoming less attractive. No more bush. No more cooling shade. 
Yannah fumbled for her drink bottle in her pack. Her mouth was getting parched. Her lips were getting chapped. She grasped the  silver aluminium bottle and put the nozzle to her lips. A tiny drop escaped from the bottle and into her mouth. Then it was empty. 
Yannah swallowed the sandy, dry lump that was growing at the back of her throat. It scratched the back of her throat. The sun shone on them like a spotlight. No escaping.
"Gee, its hot!" Lily exclaimed, gulping down water from her bottle like a frog.
Suddenly, Yannah stopped. She closed her eyes, as the sun slapped her in the face once more. Searing pain was growing in her head. It started to penetrate her brain. It moved to her body. Her arms.her legs. her stomach.The feet.Her whole body. Her mouth was sandpape. Her lips were wrinkly and bleeding from when she licked them too much. The pain was unbearable. She was being possessed by the sun. She felt weak. She felt faint. Suddenly she fell. Her head hit the rock hard track. She passed out...........


INTENSE! :)

Writing Sample...Progress!

Well, so I have officially started my writing sample. I have done two and a half pages! I have changed it a little bit. It is now about four foreign friends that travel to Abel Tasman National Park, and I have described the environment and what it is like there. I have decided that they explore the bush (obviously), and the beach and crabs and the sunshine (I have been there, so I know what to write about)......and I am thinking of adding something that I'm not going to reveal yet...but here is just a snippet of my story so far:
  
Her finger traced along the bumpy, rough and damp bark of the Rimu Tree. She fingered spirals, circles and other spirally lines, as she connected with its unique texture. Its damp feel left her finger feeling wet, and strangely cold....... to be continued soon.

You will see more in a few days time... :)
 
 

Writing Sample

Heey! So we have a writing sample coming up, and I've chosen to do a narrative about foreign people tramping in Abel Tasman.......and I have one sentence! Well, its not even a sentence! GAH!

About Me......

Why Hello everyone! My name is Alisha and this is my DAZZLING, SUPERB, and not to mention AWESOME blog!!!!!! I am twelve years old and I go to Berhampore School Now, I am about to tell you my writing history! So come closer children, and listen to my story.............

Well, when I was in Room 2, I had about, say, eight writing books that I filled in with Stories and Plays and all sorts of riffraff! When I started Room 1, I started to get more, well, addicted to writing, and by the end I go so addicted that I wrote a 200 page detective story which was a joint story with my friends Nancy and Gabrielle! But now,  since I'm heading off to high school and I've been busy with lots of other stuff, Im not so addicted......which is kinda sad..... THE END

Yeah............. thats my history of writing! I hope you enjoy my blog! xoxoxoxo